Friday, September 30th,  7.30pm
Saturday, October 1st,  7.30pm
Sunday, October 2nd,  3.00pm
Friday, October 7th, 7.30pm
Saturday, October 8th, 7.30pm
Sunday, October 9th, 3.00pm
Tech Week September 25 – 29.

Rehearsals will start the end of  July/ early August 2022

Dreaming of baseball and girls, Eugene must cope with the mundane existence of his family life in Brooklyn: formidable mother, overworked father, and his worldly older brother Stanley. Throw into the mix his widowed Aunt Blanche and her two young (but rapidly aging) daughters and you have a recipe for hilarity, served up Simon-style.

Character Descriptions

(Ages listed are the approximate age the Actor Needs to be able to Play)


Please be prepared to read one of the sides below.

Click here to download Sides


EUGENE JEROME: Almost 15 yrs old. He can’t decide whether he will be a writer or
a baseball player when he grows up. He started noticing girls about a year ago and
pesters his older brother Stanley constantly to teach him about the opposite sex.
Eugene has a lusty crush on his first cousin Nora.

KATE JEROME: About 40 years old. Kate is the worrier of the family though, as the
caretaker, she is a very practical woman. She probably has an excellent sense of humor
though her life gives her little to laugh about. As much as her burdens wear her out,
her secret is that she likes to be needed.

JACK JEROME: About 40 years old or maybe a bit older. The patriarch of the entire
family (his own and his sister-in-law’s) and everyone turns to him for the answers to all
their problems. He works two jobs because his family needs the money. He is a
sensible man who tries to make the best of things, which is a tough job all on its own.

STANLEY JEROME: 18½ years old, he is very caring, very impulsive, and still has a

lot of growing up to do. He works full time and his income supplements his father’s to
take care of the family. He knows his little brother is probably smarter than he is but
with Stan’s greater life experience and, more importantly, greater knowledge about
girls, he may never have to admit that to Eugene.

BLANCHE MORTON: 38 years old. A widow whose husband left her with nothing,

she hasn’t been able to get a job because her eyesight is poor and she has asthma. She
has no means of taking care of herself or her two daughters so they live with her
sister’s family. Blanche feels guilty for the burden she places on Kate and Jack.

NORA MORTON: 16 years old, and blossoming into a beautiful young woman. In

many ways, she is a typical teenager; beginning to experiment with independence and
rebellion. She sees her mother’s weakness and imagines that life would be close to
perfect if her father were still alive.

LAURIE MORTON: 13-15 years old and rather bookish. She has a “flutter” in her

heart and is often babied as a result. She is aware that she can use this to get her way
but is a bit too introverted to take extreme advantage


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